Erinn and I attended a retreat last week that was simply epic for us. Not to mention we got to do a road trip and that is one of our most favourite things to do – hanging out in a car and simply being with each other to talk and laugh and do a little business building and strategy.
We drove to Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health in Stockbridge, Massachusetts, where Gabby Bernstein held her annual weekend retreat for about 300 attendees. This year's theme was, The Universe Has Your Back as featured from her latest (best-selling) book. Gabby Bernstein is a multiple NY Times Best Selling Author and a Spiritual Activist and her mission is to create inspiration so that we will all can become spiritual teachers, in our own way, to bring our very best light into the world, live with as much joy as possible and to learn how to lead in love. She is a conduit that brings the light into our very presence and for us to bathe in it every single day. It was an honour to be there and watch the magic unfold.
We are the makers of our stories (that were predominantly created in childhood) that stay with us our whole life and we are the ones that get to decide whether we live in love or fear for the rest of our lives. Do we want joy in our life or suffering? Read on to find out what happened to me. (Read about Erinn's experience HERE)
What did you learn from the Gabby Bernstein Event? (Or to re-phrase:"What seed got planted in me?")
How to turn fear into FAITH and how we all create our own ‘shitstorms’.
I was awoken suddenly at 3am on our first night at Kripalu. I was exhausted from the day's drive and seeing Gabby from 7:30 to 9:30pm, yet I kept coming in and out of my consciousness and sub consciousness. All I knew was that I had to write. I needed to get out of my bed and locate the mini book light from my bag and to not wake Erinn. I found it and crept with my journal and light and pen into the corner of our room and sat down on the carpet. I put my on little light and began to write. It felt like a bolt of lightning had awoken me from my dream state. Do you ever get that persistent urge to get thoughts out of your mind and onto paper? Well, I started writing and writing and writing some more…. This was the beginning of a book I think and it started like this:
“My journey into love and how I fought it every step of the way”.
I realized in that quiet moment at 3 AM, that I was the curator of any kind of suffering that I had experienced within my life, my marriage and other relationships and “my perception” of the world. That I was the only one responsible for seeing the story that was playing out in my mind and I decided whether it was from a place of love (joy) or one from fear. I realized, in that moment, the immediate feeling of freedom because I recognized I am not responsible for other people’s pain or health or sadness, or anything else for that matter. I understood that my responsibility is to lead with love and share my story and trust that those who are willing and ready to move towards love, will open their hearts and be inspired to make whatever choices they feel they need to do. My journey to love has been stopped only by me - I have been the one who fought it every step of the way.
In order for us to get re-aligned, we have to realize we are disconnected from our source power. I can feel that when it happens. I become very hard on myself, and I feel a surge of unhappiness or resistance move through me. I feel I need to defend myself or protect my heart and strong emotions can surface.
I have realized I have to, “get out of the way for my life to move forward".
To go deep and touch the very depths of our souls means touching every little jagged morsel of pain and suffering that is hidden in the deepest depths of every corner of our souls. Besides wishing and wanting to feel good, and be positive role models and humbly inspire others with humility, we fail to realize that to get there; we must confront every negative story we tell ourselves about ‘our world’. We need to face it all 'head on' to heal, and to emerge the way we want to see the world.
There are days when I am over the top in ecstatic living and connected to everyone and everything effortlessly. We have all felt that EASE in our life. There is deep joy radiating from us as we simply have the power to achieve whatever we want in those moments with no resistance.
And there are other days when we find fault with much in our life. We hold back, we judge, we judge ourselves, we shame, we blame, and we don’t fully engage in our lives, people feel our negative energy and quite simply, overall we don’t live in the present moment on those days.
Much of my pain has come from me not getting out of my own way and its been holding me back from love, deep intimacy, soulful connections, surrendering to a higher power and connecting to my true core to be the leader I want to be.
How can you bring it into your life? (What am I committed to do?)
By simply bringing my meditation practice to be from the centre of gratitude will heal my thoughts. To not ‘put off’ or procrastinate taking a minimum of 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes at night to deeply consciously appreciate every soul and circumstance that comes into my life. My morning and night meditation is essential to help centre me to co-create a day that I am so passionate about. This is my time for me to work on strengthening my decision to live in love.
This (meditation) is a daily conscious practice and with time, a subtle transformation will begin to happen automatically. I’m committed to work to recognize when I’ve been triggered. Is it my mom? Is it a close relationship? Is it the bank manager? Is it a person at a stoplight? Is it the social injustices in the world? It happens to us all the time, but it is HOW WE HANDLE the ‘trigger’ that counts. When things move us into anger, frustration, judgement, etc. we are operating from fear. How quickly we recover and move back to love is what I find fascinating and incredibly effective to remove the stress levels in my life. It is bringing consciousness and mindfulness to every moment of your day to stop what you are doing when you feel an uncomfortable feeling move through you. Breathe it in and feel it. Then jump back into compassion, gratitude and love. (NOTE: You cannot be grateful and angry at the same time).
What the world wants from each of us is our authentic truth and this is what Erinn and I try to do every day. By doing our best to be mindful leaders, mindful business owners, a mindful wife, a mindful partner, a mindful mom, a mindful daughter and a mindful inhabitant of our beautiful planet, we have the opportunity to lead us all from fear into love. We are so passionately inspired to do this work and be grateful for these lessons we have been given - every day.
This is our goal: To inspire everyone to see life through a lens of love and realize that obstacles are simply detours in the right direction.
Love Kelly XO
Your life will never be the same.